Over the past two decades, I’ve had the privilege of writing books, delivering keynotes to hundreds of thousands of people, bringing wellness strategies to schools and businesses, and leading international self-empowerment events. To say it’s been a dream come true would be an understatement—from partnerships and publishing deals to sharing stages with world-renowned authors and speakers, I feel immensely blessed that my work has reached people globally.

However, while I’m proud of these and other accomplishments, humility is essential to any success story. As I’ve learned (the hard way), our dreams can quickly turn to dust at any moment. This reality hit me in my mid-40s, at the peak of my career, when I thought I had finally “made it.” I would soon discover that life had other plans.

As I entered midlife, I faced everything from divorce and financial struggles to health issues and recurring depression. I lost three friends to cancer, navigated difficult relationships, battled chronic anxiety, confronted childhood trauma, and worked through my issues related to my father’s suicide. Coupled with a career-crushing pandemic, I found myself in a full-blown identity crisis, now needing to practice the same four principles I had taught others countless times before.

1. Ask for help.

There is a saying in the East: “Fall seven times, stand up eight.” While I find this idea encouraging, sometimes we need others to lift us up when we’re on the ground. At least, that was the case for me. If not for the support of my family, friends, a loving partner, and, strangely enough, a few shamanic healers and medicine women I met along the way (it’s a long story), I’m not sure I would be writing this today. It was a valuable lesson that asking for help is wisdom, not weakness.

2. Practice radical courage.

Although I saw some improvements in the years that followed, I still wandered aimlessly, attempting to piece together the shattered fragments of my life. Then, as I turned 50, something shifted. At that point, I decided to step outside my comfort zone. Fear had held me back for too long, and I was done playing it safe. So, I chose radical courage instead. As a result, I not only rediscovered my love for life, but I also met the love of my life. I soon began taking even bigger risks: traveling to places I once thought impossible, participating in sacred medicine ceremonies to heal wounds from my past, and even legally changing my last name to sever ties with my dark family history (another long story involving shamanic healers and medicine women).

3. Turn pain into purpose.

Midlife has been a wild and strange ride. Despite the challenges and unexpected changes, I am grateful. Without these experiences, I would not be where I am today—more content and at peace than ever before. More importantly, each experience, especially the painful ones, has deepened my compassion for others and a desire to help those who are struggling in midlife.

4. Never give up.

If you’re going through your own dark night of the soul, remember that second chances do exist, and you don’t have to face it alone. So keep going. Even if you’ve “fallen seven times” (or eight, nine, or even ten), I promise you that the fight is worth it in the end. But if you ever feel stuck or need a hand, know that someone is here to help—a friend, a good listener, and a seasoned midlife warrior ready to lift you back on your feet again.

With Love & Respect,